


Listen Closely (Can You Hear It?)

by problematiquefave



Series: Dom/sub Trick [1]
Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Angst, M/M, Post-Episode: s03e13 This Land is Your Land
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 05:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14825789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/problematiquefave/pseuds/problematiquefave
Summary: In the aftermath of the horde and the destruction of the ranch, the events of the day start to sink in.





	Listen Closely (Can You Hear It?)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "I fucked up."
> 
> I was always disappointed that we didn't see Troy's feelings in the initial hours after they abandon the ranch so here's a take on it. Can be seen as the beginnings of a canon-divergent AU or not.

They’ve lost sight of Alicia’s vehicle but Nick’s not worried. They know where she’s headed and, more specifically, Troy knows the route. He relaxes in his seat, tilting his head back and watching the desert hills passing them by. He’s lost in his thoughts when they roll over a large bump, tires squealing as Troy fights to stay in control of the vehicle. The older man curses – and good God is his mouth _filthy_ – as Nick grips his armrests as tight as he can. They skid to a stop and Troy kills the engine, leaving the air between them to be filled with the sounds of their breathing.

It takes a moment before Nick catches his bearings and looks at Troy, eyes narrowing as he stares. He has his elbows on the steering wheel and his face in the palms of his hands. His shoulders are hunched and his head is low.

Nick doesn’t know what the older man is feeling – can’t read it in his face – but he can feel a wave of emotions rolling off of him. It’s like a physical presence, occupy the empty space in the truck cabin. He doesn’t say anything though – doesn’t ask what is wrong, doesn’t ask what just happened. Wariness lingers in his bones.

Eventually, Troy speaks.

“I fucked up.”

He looks up; he doesn’t look to Nick but towards the empty road that stretches miles and miles ahead of them. Brown eyes flick to the road and then back to Troy, searching his profile for a better explanation. He could name a million fuck ups that Troy is referring to but he can’t be positive that he means any of those. Just like his father, he is unabashedly proud – anything but apologetic.

Troy is not forthcoming. It’s unclear how long the silence between them lasts but he’s just as uneager to break it as Nick is. He sits there, staring at the road, not even a tumbleweed to keep his attention. He doesn’t start the car and after a bit, he moves his elbows and places his palms on the steering wheel, resting his chin on his knuckles.

“I’m tired, Nicky…” he murmurs. Nick watches as he blinks, cataloguing the dark circles under his eyes and the dirt on his skin. “I’m so tired. Tired of fucking up, tired of being the bad guy.”

“Then _stop_ ,” Nick says. He keeps the irritation out of his voice. Troy is looking for a pity party and he just doesn’t have the energy to entertain that. It’s not that he thinks Troy doesn’t deserve empathy or doesn’t deserve another chance – he lied to everyone because he believed that. Still, it’s been a long day and they grey skies reflect his dour mood. “Don’t fuck up. Don’t be the bad guy. Make the right choices.”

The draws his attention. Troy looks at him – blue eyes staring back at him, blood-shot and exhausted. It’s been an even longer day for him. How many hours is he on now? Forty-eight? Sixty? More? But that’s his fault, his doing. He led that horde. He didn’t stop. Yet Nick’s anger feels hollow. Troy’s weariness makes him look _young_ , something the scruff on his chin and the old man’s clothes can’t hide. He looks young and… almost scared. Definitely lost.

It’s an uncomfortable realization, one that leaves him swallowing back his nerves and repeating his ‘advice’ just to fill the silence. “ _Make the right choices_.”

“What if I don’t know how?” Troy’s voice is quiet when he asks the question. His entire demeanor is different than anything Nick has seen from him before. It’s like the adrenaline and madness has drained out of him and left behind an empty shell.

The question isn’t something Nick has an answer for. He’s been just as much a fuck up his entire life, getting high on whatever he could get his fingers around. He lied and stole and ruined everything he touched just so he could find another bout of euphoria. He’s not always made the right choices and he’s certainly been no one’s role model. Alicia is the golden child for a reason. But as Troy stares at him, he realizes that all of that is meaningless. Troy looks at him like he could hang the stars in the sky and lift the weight of the world on his shoulders. He looks at Nick like he is everything.

That’s terrifying.

Somehow though, that knowledge brings him strength. Troy is a killer and here he is, all but begging Nick for answers. The power is in Nick’s hands this time, not Troy’s. It’s a welcome first, a change in dynamic that might just be for the best. Maybe this way, another tragedy can be prevented. Maybe this way, they can both be happy.

A small smile curls his lips. “Then do as I say.”

This is a good thing. Together, they can be a good thing.

If only Troy will listen.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are greatly appreciated! You can also find me on my [tumblr](https://problematiquefics.tumblr.com/).


End file.
